Sometimes you just have no idea....

I hate feeling like I am unadequate at the end of nights even though deep down I know I am fine. AND even though I have had a wonderful night sometimes I come home and feel like bawling. I can deal with it and I can handle it but tonight there was a guy who I was ok giving the vunerability to and right now I almost wish he were here to hold me and yet last night I had a fantastic date and there was no vulnerability feeling in me. I guess it's just woman's feelings but seriously...

I guess to sum up this has been a rough month romantically and even though the toughest news has made me really go for it I just don't always feel like I'm right.

And beyond that where does older become too old.... as a poll. I'm 23 btw.

wishful, hopeful, and vulnerable thoughts out...

Buying new things is Awesome!

I JUST BOUGHT THIS!!!!

It's been something I have been pondering over and thinking about for awhile now and I do believe the time has come. I would love to spend this coming spring and summer taking some courses and learning more about photography in general. I have always loved taking pictures and trying to be creative by seeing different angles. I also can tell that I am fairly good at it, not at all good in the professional, sell my stuff kind of way, but I do think I can take some nice shots. So yes, this will be showing up in 7-10 business days and I can not even express how excited I am! I'm gonna be a picture taking fiend!!! just hope it's not too heavy.... :)

It's Friday ya'll!

Yes it really is Friday and I am sitting here at my desk after coming to work in absolutely gorgeous weather! you hear that? Absolutely freaking beautiful weather before 8am! amazing. Of course it makes me not want to work or really do anything today... thus the blogging. ahhh what a good distraction. Now lets just hope that no one comes and asks me to do anything :)

Seriously though things are good. The weather has picked up and maybe... just maybe...we might be approaching spring?! I really really hope so but if not I have spent all week loving the weather and walking around with my winter coat WIDE open. I even grabbed an ice coffee this morning and it's sitting here by me making my friday just grand!

It is also St. Patty's weekend here in Chicago which means that all sorts of craziness is going to go down. I'm very excited to experience the green river and all the celebrating that is supposed to happen. This will be my first time celebrating St. Patty's day here in Chicago so hopefully it's a good one! and that I don't get absolutely hammered. lol

Work has taken a turn for the better. I know have things to do on a fairly consistent basis and I just got assigned my first "solo" project. I put that into quotes because we rarely do things solo here but the managing etc is all usually one persons responsibility. And now I have one to manage! soooo freaky but also really really cool becuase hell I'm never going to succeed if I don't show 'em what I can do! I also changed desks and now I am basically smack in the middle of things which means I can't fool around on the computer so much anymore but the days def go by much faster with so many people stopping by to chat! It also has much more desk space and gets some natural sunlight!!!!!!!

Oh and while shopping the other day I picked up some sunflowers and we have this great tall yellow vase and they make our livign room so wonderful and cute. Come summer I am going to have flowers all over the place! plus this guy just makes me so happy. haha

well I think that's all. this has taken approximately all morning to complete and I now need to do some sneaking around to research tv's. We need a new one for our living room!

I like to take pics.

I was out this past weekend because it was so amazingly gorgeous out and of course I brought my camera. Thus, here are a few of my favorite shots that I got during the day.

some awesome pigeons who almost look like they can't tell if they are frozen there or is they really want to be there! haha. the weirdest thing is that I saw bird couples all over the place while I was walking around. Pigeons and geese!

the webbed feet on the snow just seemed so quaint to me. It's a perfectly natural occurrence and yet so beautiful.

The snow seemed to me as if it were clawing and trying to hold on to the last passages of winter. I want to believe that this somewhat warm weather is really spring trying to come into effect here. I want warmth and spring so much i'll do whatever I can to believe it! :)

Finally the lone harbor. And yet this harbor will be bursting with activity very soon. It makes me feel awesome that even though it looks desolate now, very soon everything will be what Chicago summer is about! And if trivia tonight is anything to call for it... we are in for one interesting warm season!

Hilton Head

This past weekend I went to check out a new part of this little old USA and was excitedly delighted to see how charming it was. Hilton Head, South Carolina was the destination. My grandparents have started a new tradition of traveling someplace warmer during these blah months of February and March and of course my mother goes along. Well this year I was able to join as well! Thanks Mom for the ticket! The first couple of days were still rather chilly because the sun wasn't able to get completely out but it was still warmer than Chicago and we were able to find plenty of things to occupy ourselves with. Sunday was then absolutely gorgeous too which made my entire weekend :)

the area we were in has these fabulous beaches that are so hard packed that you can bike on them and when the tide is out there is this huge expanse of beach to choose from! So of course I needed to check this out. Here is a pic of my mom as we head out. yes we were both experimenting with taking pictures as we rode. we like to live on the edge :)

After biking down the beach we decided to break off and go inland to explore some of that area. After getting lost and biking MILES out of the way we found the animal and forest preservation where we were able to catch some awesome alligators in their natural habitat.

It blows me away that they are just chilling on peoples lawns. I mean what if you wanted to go hang out there that day! perhaps there is some type of schooing mechinism that only the locals know about. The funniest thing is that even though these alligators are ALL over the place down there the only sign they have around is "Don't Feed the Alligators!" Like really? who needs that reminder? I mean I was excited to see them but no way would I think to offer them some of my sandwhich or something.

On sunday morning I woke up incredibly early for some reason and was able to catch the sunrise over the ocean. It was absolutely gorgeous and I ended up waking up my mom and we both ran outside to get some pictures! I dont' think I'll ever get tired of sunrise/sunset pictures over a body of water. It just perfect!

After realizing that no matter how pretty teh sunrise was, the sand was still freezing cold and my feet were getting very close to frostbite, jk I headed back inside to try to catch some more sleep. Instead I found this guy...

Yep a little lizard had found his way into my room somehow. So then I had to usher him slowly out while my mother sat on my bed like a scaredy cat! haha, I don't find them scary but the thought of getting close to them, so close that they might jump on me, makes me nervous as hell! luckily using two books as path markers I was able to slowly guide him out. he didn't even run very fast! poor thing, I think he was so confused by his predicament he didn't know hwat to do with himself!

All in all it was a great weekend. it was nice to just hang out with my grandparents and mom. It's very rare to get only mom and me time so whenever it happens it's very fun. We both enjoy days spent lazing in the morning, exercising, booking, and then having a few cocktails to end the day and it's always special when you can share that with someone else! specially your mom!!! I even managed to get a little sunburnt on sunday which was fantastic! yes, I am a sun junkie.

Valentines Wkend

So this past weekend ended up being very fun. Not that I didn't expect it to but there are lots of things going on at work and I wanted to just forget about everything. Well I successfully did!

Fri night my roommate and I had some people over to watch the Opening Ceremonies and then we went out and had a dance party! Then on sat after recuperating and finally getting myself out of bed right around noon :) the roomy and I decided that it was finally time to reorganize our living room. It turned into quite the process with cleaning and stuff everywhere! but it was awesome. We then met up with some ladies and went ice skating at the Wrigley field rink! Didn't really like having to pay to skate but it did mean that the rink itself wasn't nearly as packed as the one at Millenium field. The skating itself was very fun! I love going at least once a year, would love to go more but first I need to get my own pair of skates. After skating we went and grabbed some food. We had 6 ladies out and having fun! great way to counteract valentines day I say! Sunday was seeing Dear John, def not as good as I wanted it to be. In fact I just left feeling like eh. i guess it was good they finally ended up together. And then this guy that I've been talking to for the past week or so was getting back into the city and asked if I wanted to grab some food. So.. ended up having myself a little valentine date anyway which was very nice. We had a nice dinner and then ended with some drinks. He is cute and fun to talk to. I think it'll be fun to see where it goes. :)

so that was my weekend. def the type of pick-up I needed... here's to the rest of February!

We redecorated my apt!

So my apartment living room has always been very big ad yet uninviting and just blah! There is also a sunroom that is at the end of it a sunroom which is awesome. But until now it's been very unwelcoming and just not fun to be in. And the reason I have let this go on for so long is I haven't seen another way to make it better. Well this past weekend ladies and gentlemen, my roomy and me DID IT! Yes she bugged me and bugged me and then the set up hit me! diagonals and hidden spots! and tables to eat at all in the same line of view! my entire decoration norm went out the window. And after many hours sweeping and moving, removing and windexing, lifting and laughing... we ended up with a fantastic living room. A room that I am excited to hang out in and start off this summer laying in a little coach reading in the sun! lets go sun!!

The living room is here... the fireplace is now the focal point and with the mirror and diagonal placed couches it is much more intimate. I also love that you can see into the sunroom and have lots of light coming through. that used to be blocked with a screen.

There you can see into the whole sunroom. And the tv.

The breakfast (or any other meal) table that looks out onto the sidewalk now in the sunroom. Lots of sun and comfiness (love those chairs!), plus very good people watching and I'm happy!

The couch that I sleep on once the sun becomes warm! Typicaly on the weekends I'l wake up in the morning and move out to this couch so that the sun is on me. I'm such a vitamin D junkie! the coffee table is different as well.

So that's our new apt and though it caused lots of drama in between the third roommate it was totally worth it!