Thusly summer is my favorite season, far and away. So once August ends I feel jumpy/edgy/disgruntled and overall just unsure what to do with myself. I tend to just make decisions without thinking about it because my mind keeps saying you need something new.... make something happen.... take a risk! I took a risk this past weekend and while it was wonderful and relaxing and awesome it also leaves me feeling like i'm standing on the edge of a cliff and it's jump or stay. Either way is a large mind switch, changing my perception forever. Not a bad thing, i'm happy a decision is feeling forced but scary all the same. It's choosing a piece of me and saying this is the most important.... not easy...
So overall I'm surviving in this world of adulthood that I have seemed to jump feet first into. It takes a lot of energy to be the woman I envision myself as and though I love the challenge the exhaustion part of it is surprising...? Hey maybe i'll learn to like the fall more with these feelings!
I know what I want.... I just have to figure out how to get it.... two steps forward & one step back, it's not failure it's just life.
1 comment:
ahhh...you are wise beyond your years my dear!! This time of year finds me restless as well. It is a strange switch and one that I fight every year as well!!
This is when I tend to take stock of my life and consider what has been done and what lies in the land of possibilities!! While exciting...it is also a bit overwhelming when this fall feels like last fall and the one before that.
Then again, the regaining of some kind of rhythm and routine can be embraced if only I let myself do it. I am hard pressed to let go of the long endless days and nights of summer where time does not seem to matter and at the top of the priority list lies getting to the beach at some point EVERY day.
Sending you hugs and energy that you follow your heart. You know what to do! The pondering of execution is often harder than the actual act!!
Love you!
t
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