Catchup Galore

Sooooooo I have been very very quiet this past month or so.... and not for any single reason but more because so much has been happening that I haven't even wanted to process things as they go. Thus, here are loads of thoughts about the major occurrences in my life currently.

The new roomy has become a great friend in my life. I have found it very interesting to be around her because as similar as we are... there are many many things that are different. And I can obviously respect these differences but I'm also enjoying what I am learning from them. She has a boyfriend who is living in NJ and basically is in the same position that I was in a little over a year ago, except that she is adamant that she wants to stay with this guy. Like she says she could see her life with this guy. So this is great... but it's been very enlightening to see how they make a long distance relationship work. This girl is on the phone NONSTOP! I mean coming home from work she walks in on the phone 6 days out of 7. Her bf calls her every morning to wake her up, then they text/gchat/whatever during the day and then she probably calls him 2 to 3 different times in a night. When I was in a long distance I would maybe talk to my bf once every other day. And this was a huge problem for me.... one that I didn't voice enough but it was a HUGE problem. And now looking at her I can see that when you are in a long distance you need to put in double what you would when you live near each other. Talking 5 times a day is not insane because think, if you lived near each other you would most likely talk in the morning before work, then during work a couple times, then when planning what to do that night, etc. It's a lot more work than I would ever think and I have been in one! kind of enlightening huh?

I've started dating.... pretty seriously actuallly. Which is fun but also enlightening. I can now really understand why girls can be bitches or confusing or what! I mean there is this one guy who is great, very fun and talkative and respectful... He even bought me chocolates tonight but I am not going to see him until maybe saturday and this doesn't make me sad. Which tells me that even though I have fun with him... it's not going to be a permanent thing. tricky business this dating thing!

work has been work.. has been work. every day I go in hoping something will happen and every day I walk out being so incredibly happy to breathe in the fresh air! Things are so much better now that I have a window in my office but I seriously am going nuts being in the office day after day. And the worst... I've seen myself busy and I still find myself bored. It's just not in a I'm bored and the time is moving slow... it's a I'm bored and yet how the eff is it already 5 o'clock because I still have a TON to do! lol. I def need to figure out what the heck I want out of my professional life.... I just am not sure what that is yet.

We are soooo close to warm weather time.... and yet Ms. Mother nature keeps looking for ways to mess with my sense of equilibrium here by keeping it freezing in the morning, nice after work, and then cold again at night! just give me warmth please!

The old boyfriend has been popping up.... It still blows me away that the feelings I have towards that whole situation changes daily. I guess the biggest thing is that at the end of the day I enjoy talking to him and I enjoy the conversations we have. I know it's all about balance, I just have to keep working to get there. Because I am. There are just constant obstacles. Lol.

Lastly I went to Hotlanta the other weekend (April 16th-18th) and had an absolute blast! One of my best girlfriends moved down there right before xmas and I was so excited to have the chance to get down and see her new place and meet all her new friends. This is a girl that I talk to all day every day while we are at work meaning we pretty much know everything about one another so I had heard everything about her atlanta life and it was so nice to finally see/meet/experience her life. I want to put up pics but she hasn't posted them yet so when she finally does I will do a whole atlanta post. Especially since this is already a novel.

and signing off on a monday night.... this week looks to be exceedingly busy but I'm excited for it all!

Time to Meet Dei

Dei... as in the name of my new DSLR!

So remember back when I put up a short little post announcing that I had invested in a new camera???? Well that camera came within a week! and after giddily opening it I put it back in the box and placed it in the living where I could stare at it whenever I wanted...and when I say stare at it I mean, stare at it. And for some reason that staring became a problem because that's all it was, STARING.

"Why haven't I tried that new camera yet?" I would ask myself... And I realized after almost a month had gone by and nothing had changed...that I was nervous! NERVOUS! For what reason? Who knows but there it was. And so as soon as I realized how ridiculous and silly that was... I signed up for a class and here we are.

So today, It was interesting to me to see how many people were in the class, granted it was free but I just hadn't really thought about how many people would own nice cameras. The professor was very knowledgable but still obviously loves photography and sharing it with others. That to me is a very promising characteristic in teachers as it makes me want to know why this topic makes them so happy! and so I learn it! The class itself was very informative in the basic basics of photography which was nice because it was the push for me to actually embark on this new DSLR journey that, but not too much that I felt overwhelmed with how much I don't know! even though it is a lot :) I def want to take another class but I am being thwarted by a number of options because almost half of the class time is spent in a lab and learning how to print, etc. It would be nice to learn but ultimately that is not a part of this that I want to experiment with right now. Plus I feel like most of that is just messing with the pic which is all opinion anyway! So yea, I would really love to find a class, that's not a boot camp... I know its out there!

After the class I walked around my little block and took some pics of the city and little signs of spring! It is amazing looking at my pics here and everything is so much sharper! Plus it's a real camera and I can play around with the settings! Here are some of the better ones.

Check out that cloud definition! Never with a point and shoot.

I will admit I feel almost self-conscious walking around with my camera but I think that is just something that will take time! And these guys didn't seem have much of a problem with it!

Gotta love day drinking... :)

A picture post.... with a few words

So it's April and boy is it thunderstorm season this spring. We have been leaving the windows open nonstop this past week what with the gorgeous weather and the smell of the rain has been fantastic. I feel like the whole new summer and starting and I can NOT wait. So in order to get rid of the ickiness of my last post here is a few of the milestones I have this summer.

To start off there will be lots upon lots of this:

Though of course it won't be this gorgeous tropical beach but there will be plenty of Chicago lakefront! Which I am totally OK with.

Then one of my bests is getting married this summer! It will be the first of my close friends to do this and I am so excited for her.
Then her reception will be on a riverboat so I will be wearing something like this... But much cuter with more anchors is how I picture it! My girlfriend and I will both be dressing like this with matching little sailor hats! We are so excited... going a fantastic Weekend!

I will also hopefully be going to this music festival this year. It will be my second time and I would be absolutely thrilled! The atmosphere's of music festivals just amaze me. Every single person just having a good time! And hopefully this year there will be no rain!!!

And finally lots and i mean LOTS of sitting outside in good ole chicago here enjoying good food, friends, drinks, and merriment! The cubs and sox have opened.... the bikes and runners are out.... it is officially warm weather time here in chicago!

Sometimes you just have no idea....

I hate feeling like I am unadequate at the end of nights even though deep down I know I am fine. AND even though I have had a wonderful night sometimes I come home and feel like bawling. I can deal with it and I can handle it but tonight there was a guy who I was ok giving the vunerability to and right now I almost wish he were here to hold me and yet last night I had a fantastic date and there was no vulnerability feeling in me. I guess it's just woman's feelings but seriously...

I guess to sum up this has been a rough month romantically and even though the toughest news has made me really go for it I just don't always feel like I'm right.

And beyond that where does older become too old.... as a poll. I'm 23 btw.

wishful, hopeful, and vulnerable thoughts out...