I accepted an offer for a job today which is really exciting and thrilling. But I feel like I let myself down and I am so angry and frustrated with myself. The offer was good and pretty competitive but it could have been better but becuase I am so freaking uncomfortable and awkward when it comes to being an adult I just threw it away.
And I hate that I'm angry at myself becuase the offer is great and far more than a lot of people make and it's more than enough for me to live happily and satisifed off of, but for some reason I am sitting here at my desk wanting to cry. I hate that I let myself get intimidated by men and people higher up than me. I hate that I worry so much about what others think about me and what they might say about me when I'm not around to actually go for what I want.
I failed myself today and even though I'm coming out of it with a great job I can't even focus on that point. At just want to go curl up with a glass of wine and a book and forget about everything.
3 comments:
Don't be so hard on yourself. It's normal to beat yourself up but don't lose focus on your great news and reward yourself for it. You deserve it.
Thanks..I've been trying to do just that. I actually went to this litte bookstore that I've been wanting to check out in Logan Square. I've never been there and it's totally cute! Def cheered me up. :)
Hmmm...maybe it is more about making a final decision than it is what the decision actually is!
This is not just a good offer honey, it is a GREAT offer! Do you know that you will be making more than a great percentage of Americans? Not to mention the benefits etc.?
Let yourself feel it and then remember how fortunate you are to have this opportunity in THIS economy where people are being laid off left and right...never mind being offered jobs!
Here is the thing. This dear friend of me once told me, she is incredibly pragmatic and I am not, that with every decision you make, you can always change it if you are not happy...EXCEPT for one! If you have a child, you have a child for life. Everything else, can be changed. Don't like your job? Change it? Don't like where you live, change it. Don't like your relationship, change it!! Isn't that a beautiful thing?
Hang in there...enjoy your books and remember...growing up is not all that bad! And I bet you came off much differently than you think! Otherwise, why would they have hired you in the first place?
Chin up baby girl!
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