A week's (or months) worth of thoughts

Well hello February! where did you come from? I feel like so much and yet so little has happened since I've last posted I don't even know where to begin. I've thought about posting so many times, and frequently will have a post all written out in my head. Then I sit down and bleah..... nothing actually comes out. But tonight I will! or at least i'll make a bullet list of whats gone down. cause really I want this blog to be a place where I can look back and see what's gone on, cause the truth is my memory is not always great. So!

Last weekend I flew out to Ct and met up with two of my very good girlfriends. One is getting married this summer and it was wedding dress shopping time! We spent all day saturday checking out some places and lots upon lots of dresses. AND we found one! I had such a blast with the girls, even after staying up till 5am the night before just because we can! Thank you to her poor fiance who was trying to sleep in the next room, not even 20ft away from us. The next morning he told us we giggle nonstop and it sounds like "pure joy." Which is exactly what it is. When I get with these girls it's like all the troubles fall away and we laugh and laugh and laugh.

Earlier this week I was walking back home from work and I noticed that there was very little snow left in the city. The sidewalks all around me were bare! I woke up the next morning and there were a couple inches on the ground! It was awesome. The walk to work was through a quiet slow-moving city.

now after that love paragraph of snow, I have been in a hell of a no sun depression and it's taken a lot out of me to just keep that at bay. I still believe I am going to have to go somewhere but there are a few options that have been rolling around in my head.

ok.... so I've been working on this post for like a week now and I think I just need to post it cause obviously me and posting is not going together right now. I have just spent the last two hours cleaning my apt (it drastically needed it) and I feel like such a lameo staying in on a friday but tomorrow I'm having brunch with a coworker and then we're going food shopping (trader joe's!) and I desperately need to go jean shopping. And then if I haven't grown exhausted by then I want to check out a bookstore! mmmm fresh sweet books, i've been reading second hand books for awhile and though those are nice to my wallet there is nothing like cracking open a brand new book. After all that awesomeness I will prob be drinking my life away given the superbowl and sat night.... but hey. that's fun!

oh some sadness, my cubby partner got let go today. I left for lunch and when I got back he was gone. No idea whatsoever that this was going to happen, I don't even think he had a clue. The small silver lining out of this (for me, not him unfortunately) is that he was considered an employee of a completely different office than mine so my job is safe right now. It still absolutely sucks though, he kept my sanity while I was working. I work for the international division and there were only 5 of us and now that he's gone I'm left with a lovely chinese woman, but she works like woah! and a korean guy who kind of annoys me. Not the best work situation. BUT I have been pushing myself to keep stepping out and talking to others in my office and there are two other girls my age and we've started to get pretty friendly which is awesome. We are all different departments and semi-quiet people so it's taken some time but I think we've all realized that eating lunch together and getting out of the office sometimes is going to make everything much more bearable so I'm excited! so ups and downs are occuring at work... the actual work this is still pissing me off. I feel like I'm incredibly useless there but I'm also starting to get a good idea of what I need to do. It's just actually pushing myself to become that person, because essentially I am not. BUT I CAN DO IT! and I want to. I want to be good, I want to be proud of myself. I want this new potential opportunity which I haven't talked about at all and won't until it's for real to HAPPEN. I intend for it to happen.

yep, so this turned out much longer than I thought, guess after cleaning the thoughts come out. :)