My weird food characteristics...

I did not eat well over the holidays. Not to say that the food was bad or anything, but living on my own and mainly cooking meals for just myself I find that I can exist on a lot less food than I am used to. Now some of this is obviously because I am not on the swim team anymore, but I find that my body almost repels food because I am sitting in a chair for 8 hours of a day. (my job is not the most thrilling) So having three meals a day plus appetizers and snacks and candy. It all just gets to me. I'm not angry that I allowed myself to eat this way, but it is amazing how it makes me feel. Last night and tonight I was actually excited to go to the gym and I was able to not only work out for close to 2 hours each night, but I did not have to read while doing the cardio machines! That is a huge thing for me, I usually get so bored that I don't know what to do with myself.

But regardless, I am digressing, today when I went in to heat up the soup I had brought for lunch there was food out on the community table and it ended up being a chicken sandwich and onion rings! Onion rings are one of my biggest weaknesses so of course I couldn't pass it up! And then I wasn't so excited about my soup so I thought if I cut up the chicken and put it in than maybe it would make it better. Of course the chicken was breaded. Well not even half an hour after I had finished eating, I felt like hell. And it makes me sad because I find that I can't eat half of the normal food that is offered in this country. I'm alright if it is in moderation like say chicken on a salad or something, but the breaded chicken and the onion rings combined just killed me.

I have always been a picky eater. I never liked fast food ever. I remember back when my mom was not horribly against fast food places we would stop if we were on the road or it was late and there was no dinner at home. Now way back I used to get hamburgers but they could not have anything on them. I mean no lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise, mustard, etc. and if it did I would not eat it. I HATE condiments. And I mean I really truly do not use any condiments EVER! It is my opinion that if you can't make food that you want to eat the way you prepare it than why even go through the troubles. Not too mention that most of those silly icky condiments just mask all tastes of what you have already prepared so why don't you just take a warm piece of bread or something and dip it in ketchup! And in case you need a real idea of how much I abhor things like ketchup and mayonnaise and mustard, if any ever got on me I would throw up and I literally have trouble passing bottles of the stuff if they are dirty and gross. But after the hamburgers I would order the chicken nuggets and if any of the meat looked suspicious, meaning slightly darker than white, I could not physically eat it. Just the thought would make me sick.

Now I still have those weird feelings. If i clean my own chicken I cut off probably close to a sixth of the whole breast because I can't stand the idea of fat. With veggies if they aren't perfect I will throw those unperfect sections out. I understand this is wasteful and I try to buy so that I don't have anything go bad on me, but it's something I can't help. The idea of eating not perfect food just disgusts me.

I realized today that I just can't eat greasy icky foods like that. And I somehow need to figure out how to control my boredom and cravings. And I only say this because I LOVE chocolate. And I get major major chocolate cravings. And not for the cheap hershey stuff but nice dark expensive chocolate that melts in your mouth. I can eat chocolate all day and not feel gross but 5 onion rings and a breaded chicken and I want to go lay on the couch, my stomach bulges out. It's gross! And it's not worth it, I would rather eat loaves upon loaves of bread or something chocolate than fried foods.

So here's to me trying to stay away from all grease!!! I can do it....I think. In hopes to further it along I will cook up some chili tonight for lunches. It is soooo good.